i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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