You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
