You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize