Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
