Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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