Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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