then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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