Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
