Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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