I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
