Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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