yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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