considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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