Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
