People in love make me want to vomit
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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