hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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