hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
