he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
