I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just tell him i said nine months
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
