I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
