Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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