i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well I just put wine in my tea
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize