I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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