3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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