I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
