Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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