I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
