my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
