i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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