Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
