For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
