I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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