I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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