saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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