my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
