Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
