You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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