i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
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Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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