Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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