they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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