I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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