It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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