where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize