Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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