OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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