So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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