Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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