Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Terrible idea I love it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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