Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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