Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize