You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
