the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
