do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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