Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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