I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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