Just mADE A PArabola og urine
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
