She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
