I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
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