I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I miss vodka workout Fridays
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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