if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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