It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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